Governor Joe Manchin spent last Sunday recording radio and television commercials for 10 to 12 incumbent Democratic legislators. It is unknown which legislators Manchin is recording for and what exactly will be said. According to the press, the general theme was keeping the Democratic “team” together so they can mess up the state even worse – okay, the last part was my words.

I once had the distinct misfortune of hearing Democratic Party Chairman Nick Casey speak to a group right before I did. Casey was to tell of what the Democratic Party had to offer while I was to give the Republican side. I forget the exact words, but Casey repeated himself over and over again about how they should stick with the “winning team.” Team, team, team, team. He kept saying it again and again. No wonder the Republican Party is making such gains. It’s not because the Republicans are that good, but because the Democrat’s chairman looks people in the eyes who are paying extremely high taxes and receiving the lowest average pay of any state and admits his “team” is responsible for it.

But I digress.

Let us go into the wildest realm of speculation and pretend that Governor Manchin would tell the truth in those commercials. This is what I imagine he would say.

CUE PATRIOTIC MUSIC

DEEP-VOICED ANNOUNCER: A word from Governor Joe Manchin, Democrat and star of the team.

MANCHIN: Hi, I’m Governor Joe Manchin. West Virginia is ranked the lowest in everything good and the highest in everything bad. Take for instance our taxes. We are ranked 21st highest of all the states. You cannot afford our taxes because we have driven most businesses out of state with over regulation and high business taxes. That’s why you have the lowest median income of anyone in the nation.

In return for you giving us all your money, we squander it on corrupt politicians, premium televisions for my mansion and government jobs for all our friends. In fact, we have grown the size of our state government until it is the 8th highest per capita according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

My team, the Democrats, did all this. We have controlled this state for the last 70 years and we are responsible for its condition.

If you like more taxes, vote Democrat. If you like waste, vote Democrat. If you enjoy being in last place, vote Democrat. Basically, if you want more of the same, we are your team.

You can trust your Democrats to not have an independent thought on their own and vote exactly as they are told.

Let’s keep the team together!

DEEP-VOICED ANNOUNCER: West Virginia cannot get any worse so keep voting Democrat.

FADE PATRIOTIC MUSIC

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If only there was truth in advertising…