Jim Lewis, archliberal and president of the resident hippy group Patriots for Peace, recently explained why he thinks Bush is so “violent.” The reason is quite simple: President Bush was spanked as a child. Don’t rub your eyes. You read it right the first time.

Lewis mentions reading “a front page newspaper article entitled, ‘In Many Public Schools, the Paddle Is No Relic.’

“The article included a picture of a Texas school principal with a big wooden paddle in his hands. ‘I’m a big fan,’ he says in the article, ‘I know it can be abused. But if used properly, along with other punishments, a few pops can help turn a school around.’

“Sure—just a few pops. That seems to be the answer to problems these days. A few pops.

“Don’t get me wrong, I have moments when I think a lick or two will solve problems with people who trouble me. Just hand me the paddle, and get out of the way! But it doesn’t work. One pop begets another pop, and pretty soon you wind up with a generation that thinks a guided missile and a bit of torture will produce good results.

“In my mind, the perfect example of what I am talking about is our president and the bully-boys who surround him. He’s like a mafia don with his bodyguards, and he is setting a terrible tone for the nation—a pathetic example for young and old alike.”

Then he ends with a tear-jerking 60s song (are hippies predictable or what?): “There’s something happening here/What it is ain’t exactly clear/There’s a man with a gun over there/Telling me I got to beware/I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound/Everybody look what’s going down.”

It is really hard to take Jim Lewis seriously when he believes if Barbara Bush had not spanked the President when he was a child and warped him, things would be completely different.

This is a perfect example of liberal illogicality. They think conservatism stems from a disorder, not from reason. That is why your typical liberal looks down on most conservatives. Instead of debating us on the issues, they haughtily slip us their psychologist’s number. And when conservatives win in elections, liberals mock and berate the electorate for being stupid or duped.

While I reject the notion I am mentally sick, I do admit I am sick of liberals and their conspiracy theories. This is just another example of many.