I think comedian Bill Engvall is correct:

“Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, ‘I’m Stupid.’ That way you wouldn’t rely on them, would you? You wouldn’t ask them anything. It would be like, ‘Excuse me…oops…never mind, didn’t see your sign.’

“It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, ‘Hey, you moving?’

“‘Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here’s your sign.’

“I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn’t you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn’t get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning…okay…no problem.

“I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign…until he asked, ‘So, is your truck stuck?’ I couldn’t help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, ‘No, I’m delivering a bridge… here’s your sign.’”

But we do not have to turn to a comedian for levity. It is right here on our doorstep.

Hiram Lewis has an uphill battle to defeat Byrd – everyone knows that – but his biggest opponent right now is himself. When faced with even a rumor of a challenger, Hiram goes postal.

He clearly wants to be the Republican frontrunner against Byrd. But in his desperation, he tends toward irrationality. Instead of waiting for an opponent to appear, he prefers frantically boxing shadowy rumors as though he is last place.

I found that out personally. As gossip swirled around Betty Ireland possibly running for U.S. Senate, I wrote several articles discussing her. I soon got a call from an irate Hiram who wanted to know who the heck I was and what the heck I was doing.

Sheesh.

Now that the discussion has panned to Republican Chairman Robin Capehart possibly running, Hiram — again — cannot stand it. He tried squelching speech by erecting a website slamming Gary Abernathy for even talking on the subject.

Oddly enough, Hiram does not follow his own site’s banner, which says, “THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK ILL WILL OF A FELLOW REPUBLICAN” (yes, it’s all-caps). He blamed Capehart in the Daily Mail for secretly trying to undercut him while advancing his own personal agenda and Hiram claims there is a secret sect of Republicans trying to “destroy” him.

Can you say paranoid?

Then, he releases an article saying Capehart should run against Kanawha County Senator Brooks McCabe. Hiram forgets one little detail: Capehart doesn’t live in Kanawha County. In fact, he doesn’t live within 100 miles (he’s 178.17 miles away from Charleston to be exact).

Hiram, here’s your sign.