Gary Abernathy explores the implications of Senator Byrd’s promise to eat a hat. For those of you just tuning in, the former clansman promised to eat AP reporter Larry Messina’s hat if a more energetic man could be found. “Show me another 87-year-old man who’s got the energy that I’ve got, and I’ll eat your hat.” Seeing as Larry does not wear a hat, the Senator is safe.

Regardless, the Senator uses a cane, unlike some 87-year-olds I know. I am sure there are cane users pep and vigor, but one should not boast of energy and not be able to stand on his two legs. Seeing as the Senator had to be helped up the two steps leading to the platform and maintained a death grip on his podium as he spoke (while Governor Manchin dutifully held the aforementioned cane), perhaps he should run — no pun intended — on something other than his energy level.

If he does lose the bet, eat the hat, and publish a book about it, I have an idea for the cover.